Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Please To Take Good Advice

Mwambe Twambo can help your fine self too, sir!

I saw this question and answer recently on an internet newsletter. It must be accurate and true because it was on the internet. And in a newletter. And written by a guy whose whole name has only two (but two very manly) syllables.

Another guy, 65 had just retired with limited money. How could he get by on it?

The Expert: "If all I had was $100,000 in an IRA, and I was worried that America could no longer give me the comfortable retirement I wanted, I would invest in gold, move some of my assets overseas, and work on creating a second active income. If you are in this situation, I recommend you consider a plan such as this."

Lessee, the plan in a nutshell is, take the $100,000 and:

  • Buy $40,000 of gold coins
  • Buy an empty $40,000 lot in Nicaragua
  • Create an internet business with the other $20,000 and hope to make money

Let's call this the Position Of Sensibility or POS Plan, for short.

Sounds great but I couldn't do all of it in one go, so here's where I'm at.

I did buy several bags of gold coins recently. I wanted to hurry up and get in before the price crashed through the floor.

And you know? It turned out better than I could ever have expected. Here's the deal.

I thought the coins were kind of light, several bags full and all, and when I got home from the supermarket (where I bought them) I discovered that each and every one of these coins has chocolate inside. Talk about a deal!

So as long as I keep them cool (preferably frozen to preserve freshness) I'm in Cocoa Butter Fat City. I can buy things with them, take them out of the freezer and play with them, or if the global situation gets truly desperate and nobody wants gold anymore (Hard to believe, right?), I can always eat them and get a pleasant sugar rush.

I'm trying to negotiate for a piece of dirt in Nicaragua so I can bury my IRA statements there, and meanwhile I found this really helpful guy in Nigeria who is willing to get me started with an internet business for only $20,000. Very neat.

So good advice there, Mr. Financial Expert Man. I guess this is why you rate a logo with curlicues and such.

Well, gotta go and massage the cramps in my leg for a while. See y'all.

"How to Retire Comfortably with Only $100,000 in Savings": http://bit.ly/nW3Qps

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