My love, Echinoia Eeeps, planted a garden this year. Only one seed. Me. But when I didn't sprout properly she dug me up again and gave me a solid spankin'. That naughty, naughty lady. I guess we're now back on course.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, said I'd look pretty good on top of the Xmas tree this year. (It's a thing that they do around here, where her family is.) And wouldn't you know, I immediately began to pucker up, remembering Cousin Ephraim Elbert Eeeps. Poor bugger was wiggling around up there for six weeks, without even a potty break.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, says that tomorrow is the big day. That was all. No details yet. I'm hoping that she'll be untying me before the main event. That would be plenty for me, considering. Maybe I'll get fed too, but I hope it's not to the swine. Hope — I still have some left from last time.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, slept late last week. She didn't go to bed until 76:51:27.3 GMT, according to her, and then she snored a whole lot. She does that. Nevertheless, she retained enough residual consciousness to periodically pop upright and plug a random rat with her Colt M1911 .45 caliber pistol, before settling back into a peaceful beauty sleep. Beauty, eh? That's her.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, told me that I need to help her make a batch of nitroglycerine. Considering what happened the last time, I'm thinking maybe I'll go hide for a few days.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, wants to plant me out in the family vegetable garden again, so I can listen to what the bugs are saying about her. Bugging the bugs, so to speak. She promised that she would come by and water me at least once a week, but so far I'm a bit skittish about the whole enterprise, especially since the family's monthly compost-shoveling contest and beer-pee fest is coming around all too soon. (Lots of wet times during those days. Lots.)
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Me? Happily licking things that can't get away. Selected people too, on occasion.
