Friday, May 10, 2019

Lets Fry Some Parrots

"Pollo frito." That's fried parrot, right? Well anyway, that's what I'll be eating, whatever it is.

20 People just came in. Asked what's for lunch. Thinking fast, I opened a restaurant and some cans of tuna.

A guy in a red sweater came in. Was instantly kicked out. No shirt, no shoes, no pants, no service. With a smile.

A frog in the rain maintains it slime with no pain.

A hamster without a bicycle is like a woman without a cantaloupe, except that one complains more than the other. And then there's the lunch angle.

Toast on a stick is another thing you never really plan on specializing in.

Air is free unless they catch you breathing.

If cookies were made of meat, I'd eat more of them, and so would the cat, and our beer would taste better.

I went to climb a mountain but someone moved it. I think they said his name was Moe Hammer or something. Must have beefy arms. No idea where he might have put it. Let's eat.

I found tuna in my slippers this morning. Either the cat is playing practical jokes again, or someone left me a pair of slippers, or something unusual is going down.

Saw trucks full of stuff go by, then they formed a circle and exploded in flames. Only one sock puppet made it out alive. I had no idea that sock puppets were alive. But this one was, I think. At least it did some flopping around. After that — nothing. Aside from a lingering smell of grape jam. Rubbage everywhere. Had a nice meal of tuna, pineapple, fried grits, and chocolate gravy later on, while listening to the symphony orch play John Philip Sousa's Greatest Kazoo Dirges as they executed Facebook executives. I hear that's a thing now.

I found a worm in my salad. I let it eat all the romaine lettuce before making my kill. Poor little bugger never knew what hit him. Next time I'm ordering the fish with flies.

I found an unattended ham sandwich lying on the sidewalk like nobody's business. Well, I made it my business, so I whupped that there sandwich right smart until it quit lying, and then I ate it after brushing most of the skudge and hair off. Still a bit too crunchy for my taste. Result: No more than two stars.

I fried an egg this morning, just after midnight. It had lost its final appeal.

Had a great conversation going with a ham sandwich earlier today, cut a bit short when I lost control and ate it.

In fact, I've never known any ham sandwich to tell the truth, except one, and I ate it anyway.

So a tuna walked into a bar and they made it a sandwich.


Currently out to lunch.

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