Captain Terminal Twitching was arrested just last night for "illegal wiggling after dark", though that is merely offensive and not a true offense where I'm from, and he did have most of this clothes on at the time, with the possible exception of pants, which are considered optional in many jurisdictions these days, by tradition if not by statute, so we'll have to wait and see if a solid ruling will be coming down within a reasonable amount of time. (Can't wait, hardly.)
Captain SBD has recently accepted a position as assistant editor of "Kitchen Farts Magazine", one of the very few magazines still in print, and likewise holding on to its niche ranking in the very tiny population of edible fart magazines. We do wish him or her well, and hope he/she/it does not feel compelled to come and visit any of us.
Captain Tulip-Lipped Fish Kisser is not like us, we profoundly hope, and will henceforth be encouraged to stay on the other side of the fence.
Captain Tutti-Frutti was the leading candidate to head up the upcoming Pride Day Parade, until revealed to be straight-up Plain Old Vanilla simply dressed up in Grandma's dusty ancient festive costume from ye olde Fruit Salad Days. Some were reported to be sorely disappointed by all this while others claimed to be more focused on having another slice of apple pie, and who could really blame them, or anyone?
Captain Twinkle Toes is just to much for us right now, especially if we're expected to provide the batteries.
Captain Two-For-One Turd Celebration Month is becoming moldy. (Again!) We would do something, but were hoping that you might step into the situation, so to speak, and clean it up, so to speak. (The rest of us will be out of town for a while. Probably quite a while.)
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