Pat and Trite, the Obvious sisters, wanted to go fishing. But that meant being outdoors with bugs and mud and wind. So instead they bought a half-dozen guppies and flushed them down the toilet. Catch and release, see? No hooks, no sunburn, no mosquitoes, no stupid driving. So perfect that they might write a book about it: "Pat And Trite's Guide To The Outdoors". Life can be both so much better and so much simpler if you just think things through first. And it leaves more time for watching the Kardashians.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious sisters, decided that life would be better if it had meaning so they fired up SmarTalk AI and began asking questions. Now they are lifetime members of the One True Church of Foreverland, Inc., and can sleep in every day of the week without any obligations or questions needing to be sent to their or anyone else's conscience. As long as they stay up to date on their love offering ($15/mo or $400/yr and keep their magic prayer cloths clean and away from the dog, who just loves to chew on them. (Proof that they're the full-on genuine magic cloths.)
Pat and Trite, the Obvious sisters, formed a neighborhood watch committee to watch their neighbors, because one never can be too sure what any of those other people might be getting up to, and some of them have even been to foreign countries, even heathen foreign countries where not everyone washes their hands both before and after using the toilet, and they know which neighbors those are and will be compiling reports on their activities, in case the information is ever needed, and it surely will be, considering some of the things that have been going on out there for way too long.
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Me? I didn't vote for any of this.
