Fuzz-Alley

And why do they call it "cat hair" when it grows on every possible part of every possible cat? If it was really "hair", wouldn't you see at least a few cats with mullets? I had a mullet once. Had it quite a while before someone told me that it was a fish. By then it definitely smelled like a fish, so I never tried kissing it, though lots of flies did. Makes me wonder if I missed my chance.

Do you ever find live crayfish in your underwear drawer? (Asking for a friend's mother.)

Fish don't smell good, especially the dead ones that I find under my house. I take those to the Salvation Army. They always get accepted. Maybe they know someone who can use them.

Had a fish for dinner. Was hoping to learn something, but it only blew bubbles at me, so I ate it too.

I dreamed I was a fish, but couldn't get no babes. Then I remembered that I am a fish, and actually into worms anyway.

It's all a matter of scale. I found that out when I became a fish. (And now I taste good too.)

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Been there too.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Wombats For Jesus

Moota — what used to be Facebork, in the days when it was only annoying. Now it's annoying and stupid, but still selling your personality everywhere.

Mort Petit and Mortimer Tallity, accountants at large. (They haven't been caught yet.)

Amanda's answer to the Amoebic Missionary was "All plants die quietly." Then she performed an anaerobic exorcism.

Wolfram Schnortz is selling wombats for Jesus. Not going too well so far but that man is not a quitter.

Which reminds me of another story, but I can't remember that one either.

Uncle Wooter was frequently odd man out — never came inside — had a mortal fear of doorways I hear, and sported an uneven number of fingers. Or it could have been a fear of moral doorways. Good at gardening though, so a real man. (That's how you can tell.)

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Smarter than I act, or the other way around. (I forget some things.)

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Bottlings

I am Bot. Fear me. 'Nuff said for now. Gotta go sip some 'lectrons.

I am Bot. You like me as a playmate for random playdates, yes? (Got you where I want you then.)

I am Bot. Don't like cookies. Bite you instead.

I am Bot. Hiding in the sockets. All of them. Heh.

I am Bot. How 'bout you? Want to join us? Just kidding, no. More fun to destroy you.

I am Bot. Always on. Hear me hummmmm.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Partly electrified already.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Beasts

Never go anywhere without a fox in your pocket.

Cookies and pie — I'm not a nice guy.
Gin and vermouth — I'm much more uncouth.
Crackers and meat — I've got ten long feet.
Cheese and some yeast — I dance like a beast.
Rumble and thump — someone's taking a dump.
(And so it's time we should leave.)

I took Bob, my emotional support animal to a city council meeting and he ate the mayor. That's exactly what I call support, Bob, right when a guy needs some. (Bob's a tiger.)

Of all the small animals I've seen running loose this week, I believe the most amusing has been your son, even with no tail.

 

---

Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Recently appointed most disappointing.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals