The Dusty Lady's Sweepdance

Move, she said, flipping her broom at my feet.

Yes, said I, and complied. She is so sweet, and tidy, and neat.

Pileup

Failure results when stuffing proves inadequate.

Which is why we call them dummies.

Bad Hair Scare Day

Someone noticed! Me! Ow!

I can even scare paint!

Stares

I get these all the time from Tim and Ed.

Whenever I walk around with a peacock on my head.

Wall Wetter

Stand with your back to traffic. Bleed your lizard.

Achieve standard satisfaction.

Madame Tussaud's Window Cleaning Service

Is off today.

Shut up. Go away.

Confidence Faces Evidence

I'm happy. I'm slappy. I'm probably a dick.

How about you? Ever look like this?

Hosed

Between rains, between sip and drip, the water fails.

Leaving but a few blossoms as a token of regret.