Plan ahead — your monkey demands it.
I found my socks today. I was afraid they'd lost me. But that new bloodhound of mine came through. I got my socks back, plus a couple of stray cats (Kitty and Kathy), one squirrel, a used toothbrush, and an abandoned Lexus. My only remaining problem is what to do with the three bodies in the trunk of the car, but no doubt a good idea will come to me. (My lucky day, right?)
But is it really fair to blame everything on the cat? Yes, I think so. That's what he gets paid for. Salary, paid vacation, sick leave (with full-coverage hairball insurance, plus dental), completely funded defined retirement plan, and all the mice he can stand to take home to his kids. For that I get to sound cranky and whiny every now and then and blame him whenever one of my socks goes missing. And he gets to use the car every Thursday. I don't think I'm being unreasonable.
I bought a wig. Named it Hermann. Also got a harness and leash. We go to the park a lot. The leash is so Hermann doesn't go charging off chasing cars and such. That would be embarrassing. Could result in a citation. I don't need that. It's enough work to keep Hermann out of the aquarium. I've had to buy I-don't-know how many replacement goldfish already. Other than that, things are sweet. We celebrate Shampoo Night together, Hermann and I. Also sweet.
That car that just zoomed by? Driven by my sister's newly-adopted stray cat, Clive. We had to put in some pedal extenders for him, but he picked up the rest in about a day or two. Everything OK so far, though we'll eventually have to discuss that tuna breath issue.
Here in Ecuador they don't hang fuzzy dice in their cars. It's fuzzy avocados, though maybe I only saw the moldy ones. Or cats. Could be cats I'm seeing. Spotted cats.
Car shouting. Why not?
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See if that helps.
