Captain Post-Xmas Diarrhea is wishing you the best in the coming year, and in a good way.
Captain Whiny Tut-Tut says he's had it with the whole Xmas season and the false-front scene it engenders, having failed to receive his customary bag of nuts and no new toy dump truck either. (Again.)
Captain Twirling Tassels says she just might head back to Lithuania if things don't pick up real quick around here, and her cat won't quit with the dry heaves and all, plus there's always some guy out in the hall sniffing doorknobs and apparently licking some of the more aromatic ones, or something. Maybe it's for the salty taste. But anyway, how much of this should a person have to take?
Captain Twinkle-Fingers is more into pancakes these days, and her pet snake (Waldo) too, since they get along so well, including a mutual appreciation of pancakes (swallowed whole), and bedtime stories after dark. (As you might have expected.) So That's about it for her now.
Captain Dweeb was recently promoted to Lieutenant General and will be executed shortly, after which a memorial luncheon will be served.
Captain Extensive Nose Hairs continues to struggle with common tasks like eating soup and pudding, blowing snot rockets, and combing out flies without removing overmuch of her signature sub-nasal tufts.
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? Long, long ago I mastered efficient turd production. Let me know if you want some. Got lots. Best prices anywhere.
