Saturday, April 24, 2010

I Propose To Eat Your Brain

Excellent Letter From Mr William Patricks For the benefit of our both Family.

From Mr Williams Patricks,

Director Incharge of Dept Recovery Department In Bank Of Africa (b.o.a) Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.

West Africa.

Dear Partner,

This is an Excellent Letter from Mr Williams Patricks the chief auditor incharge of debt recovery department section in bank of africa (B.O.A). ouagadougou burkina faso west africa.

My dear partner in advance,I presumed that all is well with you and your family,

Please let this do not be a surprise proposal to you because i got your contact information from the international directory in few weeks ago before i decided to contact you on this magnitude and lucrative transaction for our future survival in life.Moreover, I have laid all the solemn trust in you before i decided to disclose this successful & confidential Project to you.

I am Mr Williams Patricks the chief auditor incharge of debt recovery department section in foreign remittance department in our bank and i have had the intent to contact you over this financial project worth the sum of thirty one million, united states dollars ($31,000,000.00 ) for our success.

This is an abandoned sum that belongs to one of our bank foreign customers who died along with his entire family through plane crash disaster since few years ago.Meanwhile i was very fortune to came across the deceased file when i was arranging the old and abandoned customers files in other to sign and submit to the entire bank management for an official re-documentations after the audit meeting 2009.

Please be informed clearly that it was stated in our banking rules and regulations which was signed lawfully that if such fund remains unclaimed till the period of 8 years started from the date when the beneficiary died, the money will be transferred into the treasury as an unclaimed fund.

As an honour and advantage bestowed to our foreign customers base on the rules guideing our bank, it was stated obviously that if you are not a burkina faso citizen, You have the absolute authority to claim the fund hence you are a foreigner despite your differences from the country of origin of the deceased.So the request of you as a foreigner is necessary to apply for the claim and transfer of the fund smoothly into your reliable bank account as the next of kin or extended relative to the deceased.

On the transfer of this fund into your account, { 35% } will be your share in respect of the account provision and your assistance rendered during the transfer of the fund into your bank account and 45% will be my share being the codinator of the Project. and10%will be for the expencies that will occure during the Project.while 10 % will be shared to the respectable organisations centers such as charity organisation, motherless babies homes, and helpless disabled people in the world.

If you are really sure of your trustworthy, accountability and confidentiality on this Project, contact me and agree that you will not change your mind to cheat or disappoint me when the fund have getting into your account.

Besides you should not entertain any fear because i am sure of the success as an insider in the bank ok.Please reply through my private Email adress below williamspatricks@[redacted].com with the assurance, include your private telephone and fax numbers necessary to facilitate an easy communications in this transaction as soon as you reply so that i will let you know the next step to follow in order to finalize this Project immediately.I expect your urgent communications.

Yours sincerely MR WILLIAMS.

[Maybe you got one of these too. If not, enjoy mine.]

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4 comments :

  1. Sounds like a great deal...you're very lucky!

    Let me know how it turns out. I'm sure that a man in a Nigerian internet cafe is waiting with baited breath for your response.

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  2. I think I found a use for this sort of thing. I came across a vile blog selling success secrets while I was searching for something. The blog was so full of useless crap that I decided to leave a comment, which was the entire text of the scam email. And I deposited Mr Williams Patricks's email address when asked for one.

    I'm pretty sure he got a reply from them posthaste, and now I expect they're trying to mutually sucker each other to death. (I like the image of all concerned covered in weeping sucker marks, I really do.)

    I think it was 419eater (http://www.419eater.com/index.php) that once posted a great story of scammer baiting, ending with one of the bad boys sitting in Somalia broke, waiting, and with no way to get home. And he never realized exactly what had happened to him. Heh.

    Or maybe it was at Ebola Monkey Man (http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/) or Scambuster 419 (http://www.scambuster419.co.uk/). So many scammer stories, so little memory left in working order. Ah, life, she goes on and on these days.

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  3. The latest Tama Janowitz novel ("They Is Us") features a lonely old man whose only social contacts are the people who write him scam letters. He's always trying to offer them advice ("Maybe you shouldn't be so trusting of me? Maybe you should learn more about me before you offer me all this money? Let me tell you something about MY life...")

    It's very funny and very sad.

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  4. I should try that. I'm getting old, and I don't have that many friends since my hamster died. Sure, after freeze-drying he looked pretty good for a while, but a couple accidental trips off the counter top introduced some unfortunate changes. Our conversations just aren't the same any more, and he's got something loose inside. He rattles a little when I shake him during arguments. Never did that before, even when he was alive.

    Plus, I think the moths are after him. Something is. Eating his fur. I tried shampooing but he only ballooned up and got mooshy, and then the fungus got a foothold. But he's about all I've got for now.

    My sister (oops, forgot about her) recommended "Breathers: A Zombie's Lament", by Scott Brown. Pretty good in its own way. Really makes the lonely undead come to life. Maybe I can try them. I can relate. They sound like a lot of fun, and seem to be welcoming. http://www.undeadanonymous.com/

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