Dirt Is Cheap This Week

The peasants are back in town, as is their lord and savior, The Noodle Demon. Fun shall ensue, methinks.

The Peterborough Pansies — despite the name, you're better off not messing with them.

The rats are attacking again. And it's not even Thursday.

The sound system in here is turned up so high that my knickers are knotting. And I don't even know what that means, but it uses up some "k" words, which seem to be appropriate, given the circumstances.

The Leonard shortage continues — now into its fifth day and counting. Please don't wake me until it's over.

The music is playing, the night is young, and I feel like dancing. Too bad I'm an umbrella stand.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Sure...

Welcome Practice Banking Excursions

Wilderness banking excursions, on foot or in boxes.

With but a little practice in their proper handling, much fun can be had with paperweights.

Woke up from a nap and couldn't find my pants. Must have left them on the bus.

Why do truck tires never come in bright, festive party colors? Neon pink for one. And how about fun fruit flavors? Opportunities, opportunities.

Why don't ostriches attack rutabagas? Other than chaos in the produce aisle, it would seem to be the perfect match up.

Why is a welcome mat in the place where you wipe your feet?

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Recently tried some banking in my underwear.

Wistful And Wrinkly At Large

Wistful reality — something like wide-awake dreaming, but tastier.

Why isn't there a Laundry Channel? I would do it.

Wordpecker - the word processor for those who are hunt-n-peckers

Worldwide Toe Webs. (Reduced membership this week only.)

Wretched Slimy Mess was my third grade teacher. (What is a grade anyway? What does it have to do with school?) To get out of that early prison cell, we had to make a collection of nuts and seeds, or one or the other. I was quite partial to slime molds at the time, inspired by our teacher, but instead decided to go with shoelaces because they were easier to steal. I was headed for a failing grade until I figured out a way to prove that shoelaces, if planted, grew into shoe trees. Everyone bought it, and I was subsequently hired as groundskeeper and paid in walnuts.

Wrin-Klee Forsken, my high school geography teacher, has a new book out. It's about how to obey and be subservient to authority, using himself as an example of authority, based on his 47 years of telling 16-year-olds what to think. The good news for him is that my home town abolished firing squads for anyone who spent at least 45 years in the local school bureaucracy without going objectively crazy, running amok, and slaughtering people at random with a machete. He never took that much initiative, and it's doubtful that he could tell which end of a machete was the effective one, and for what. But anyway, go Wrin-Klee Forsken.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Yes, wistful, and also hungry right now.