A simile is better than sex if you don't have sex anyway, or money to buy chocolate.
A simile is like a bag of dead cats, waiting to be set free.
A simile is like a bunch of words that mean something.
A simile is like a spinster English teacher orgasm.
A simile is like a metaphor but with extra words.
A dog followed me home today — says his name is Beelzebub, used to be an accountant, likes to eat naughty children. I think we could be friends.
A bad simile is like an evening at the opera with no empty seats so you can't lie down and sleep to kill time.
A bad simile is like having crotch rot without any of the epiphany moments.
'Mom warned me about guys like you,' she said, 'But I might have a glass of wine with your cat, if you don't mind getting lost for a while.'
'Mom warned me about guys like you,' she said. 'And for once she was right.'
'Mom warned me about guys like you,' the doctor said. Then her eyes crossed and she fell over backward. So I guess I still have what it takes.
I'm all smiles at noon with my all-terrain hamburger.
Currently making the transition from old creepy guy to creepy old guy.
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See if that helps.
