Dad taught me everything he knew. And then he died. Loser — I mean. So I forgot all that and started listening to the cat. Now I can lick my own butt and also have eight more lives in waiting, in case. #No_Loser_Me_Eh?
I covered myself in stamps and sent myself to the lady next door. She has cats. All of them enjoy licking me now.
I never licked Captain Kangaroo, so, did you? Which parts?
I spent some quality time with my new girlfriend today. She's a cat. Nothing serious though. We just both enjoy nibbling mice. And mutual licking of selected furry spots.
Last night I had my first bath in cookie dough, then licked myself clean. Seems like a lot of effort. I don't even like cookie dough. But it was either lick myself for an hour or sit in a 350° oven until brown.
Mom said it's OK with her if I lick you.
That woman who just came in, and our eyes met, who looked away? She doesn't like me. When I asked if I could lick her, she said mean things. I heard them all. Mean.
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Me? Resting my tongue this week.
