My love, Echinoia Eeeps, recently introduced me to her new cousin Kitsuania Foondoggy. They're still getting acquainted but are planning on being in a band together, as soon as they can find the right saws. It'll be a saw band.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, cut her teeth while performing as a soloist in the Kindergarten Orchestra of Raucous, which is why, when she wishes to eat food that requires chewing, she borrows the dog's dentures. Clever.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, gave me a cat suit for my birthday. Not one of those slippery lycra jobs either. This one has a tail. And she has a vermin problem, one not caused by me this time, but one I'm still in charge of fixing. After all, aren't I the one with the cat suit?
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, wants to set up a barbecue joint along the highway, called something like "Eats With Eeeps". True, it could be mistaken for a disease, but she likes the sound of it. Also unfortunately, I can't help with product development because I'm too scrawny and wouldn't roast well (she says). Says that scrawny doesn't put butts in seats, so I've been assigned kitchen duty, licking the plates clean, in hopes that some day I'll plump up and qualify for R&D in the roastery.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, had a birthday party. I wasn't invited because someone had to work security — mostly shooting any wild hogs attempting to encroach on the family compound. Hogs just go nuts when they catch even the slightest whiff of spicy rutabaga pie and pit-roasted sand lizard (two of the family's party-time favorites).
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, brought me a gift. It's a replica of the toilet seat that her grandmother, Elderly Onus Epinephrine Eeeps, died on during The Great Diarrhea Explosion of 1933 (mostly forgotten now). As soon as I sand it down, repaint it, and give it a yearlong soak in bleach, it will be safe to hang on the dining room wall as both a monument to memory and a warning to the world.
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Me? Recently sanded smooth again, and liking it.
