I found God drunk and passed out in the gutter again. There was a church across the street — lots of people inside, howling up a storm, except for one guy shaking his finger and giving God a stern lecture on cleanliness, sobriety, and godliness. Didn't seem to have any obvious effect, but when God came to, I did some serious washing down with the garden hose for a good two minutes, and then we went and had pizza and dripped dry. Pretty decent day overall, with the entertainment and everything. Decent pizza too, and God actually paid this time.
Does God masturbate or what? God, the ultimate he-man, but no wife or even girlfriend, and no candidates in the known universe, except for that one human woman about 2000 years back who got knocked up and then abandoned to the care of her actual husband, and what the hell was his true role in all this, really?
God never wanted to be God, as I heard it, but was promoted as the last one remaining on the job after all the talent left for more rewarding options.
Got to check in with Satan one of these days. It's been a while. Have to do it in person though. Satan never answers emails, etc. You know how it is with the old-timers.
I hear that God is contemplating putting out a line of self-branded beer. Like, doesn't that sort of just happen? "Let there be house beer!" Etc? May be another clue that things are really seriously eftup around here. Seriously.
Me, I'd say never trust any god who has never bathed. (And demand proof of any statements to the contrary.)
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? Just waiting for the universe to end. Finally, right?
