Today I decided to do something wonderfully different and then I forgot what. Just like yesterday. #Poo.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life and somehow I turned into a pile of dog shit, which has to be my least favorite kind.
Today is the last day of the first part of my life. It's good to have that wrapped up. Now — what the hell happens next?
Today is the yesterday of tomorrow and the end of all your dreams.
Today is Worldwide Fungus Day. Take some mold to lunch, go out for beers later, and wrap it up by shedding spores around the neighborhood.
Today they're serving food at the restaurant. I really love it when they do that.
Today it's corvina en escabeche — served on a pile of flaming corvettes, with chocolate sauce? Am I right?
Today it's lomo aponado, and tomorrow? Could be anything. My favorite is mouse on toast on a stick, but they don't often serve it here, more's the pity.
Today was the day of the big nut parade. All the squirrels were out. Me too, but no washers in sight. Did see a few bolts but not many. Not many at all. Mom wasn't there either. She's still dead these days. I hope it's only a phase, cuz I have lots of laundry that needs doing.
This is written from my deathbed. I ordered it from Amazon, with Prime. Had one-day shipping guaranteed, though it wasn't delivered until the day after I died, to the wrong address. Too bad, huh? But it looked so nice that I had to crawl over to it and claw my way up even though I was beginning to stink by then. Worth it. Now I can rot in peace.
Though I did study Latin for two years, I never wished to become geek.
Thinking back on high school, I shudder. It's a maneuver I learned there and have never forgotten.
Thrifty clips, a haircut in three snips, available at Marvin's Hirsuitatorium (windy Wednesdays only).
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Me? Losing at poker to the cat. Any cat.
