I lost interest in religion when Barbie went pagan and ate Ken. Never liked Ken, but still...
Well, topping that, an alligator walked by a few minutes ago, farting gently. I guess the walking part is good for digestion after you eat a dog. Not sure. Would not try that myself, but it sounds about right. Anyway, the barking has stopped.
An apple bit me yesterday — just now got out of surgery. Not great but at least they let me keep the apple for dessert. Revenge dessert. Dessert is the best revenge or something like that, right?
Attended my high school reunion in a dream. Bad dream. Bad, bad dream. Anyway, as a followup exorcism, I tore up my high school diploma, added a bit of bacon grease, and fed it to the neighbor's endlessly-barking dog, which died. And to think I've waited all these years not knowing I had the solution to both problems right here all along.
I've decided to turn my life around. Bought a crowbar this morning. Already have a winch. Should be done by noon, and you'll never recognize me.
I managed yet once again to put my foot into my mouth, though I do have to admit that it's much easier since the accident. Tastes better too, now that I'm keeping it in a jar full of vodka.
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Me? Recently run over by something loud. No idea. Loud and fuzzy.
