Haven't seen much of Mom lately. Not since she was eaten by lizards. Still waiting for them to poop her out so we can have a proper burial. Contemplating a garden ceremony so we can save on fertilizer. (And a tedious amount of carrying.)
Mom told me I'd never amount to anything, just like Dad. When she composted him there wasn't enough left to even fart at, so maybe she has a point.
Mom wants her blood back. Says now that I'm grown I should be able to fend for myself and make my own, and repay the loan. She's also going to be charging me rent.
Mom said I'd never amount to anything, and in a way she was right, but at least I'll have a cheering audience at my execution, and how about that, Mom?
Chigger bites feel better than I do today. Maybe it's time to start bathing again. Will have to ask Mom about this. She knows stuff.
I asked my therapist, Rudolph, if I'm ready yet to marry. He said it's important, before making a commitment, to be sure that I have a good reliable supply of fresh garbage, and a safe place to sleep, preferably in or near a sewer (which also provides a great escape route). Given this, I can say only that I am once again grateful that Mom recommended a rat as my confidante. (And he's reasonably-priced too.)
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Me? Recently knuckled under. (In my sleep.)
