Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, are fully committed to ensuring that exactly everyone has a joyous, wonderful, and fulfilling holiday experience this year, which is why they have set up a neighborhood watch committee to patrol the streets, check IDs, photograph pedestrians and other suspicious folk, and inspect vehicles and yards. If you see them coming your way, by all means Do Not Run. Doing so may initiate an attack reflex, and most of us do not want to witness that, let alone be part of it. (Just ask the police about last year.)
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, are really big on the One and True December Holiday, usually initiating their first planning meeting about March 13. So far they think that they will be able to pull everything together by the end of the year, but they are getting older, at the rate of one year per year, which seems to them to be so precisely regular as to be patently suspicious, so it might be a good idea to stand back a little and try not to get personally involved, if at all possible.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, have nearly finished putting up their non-denominational generic holiday decorations, the same ones they use for 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, April Fools Day, Remember-When Day, Tax-Due Day, and so on. This year they hired a crew, one with a crane, and should be finishing any minute now, if the weather holds, unlike what went down last year, when they were still doing it all themselves with volunteer help, and knocked out power to half the city for nearly a week. But that's life, isn't it? So often it is.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, want you to know that they will review your membership application sometime after you submit one, but not before, and that if you act sometime this month, you very probably will be first in line.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, are circulating a petition to make the first Thursday of each month, if directly following a full moon, to be designated Happy Face Time in their honor, during which period they are allowed to correct the diction, pronunciation, political and religious views, style of dress, and eating habits of anyone they encounter who obviously needs remedial instruction. The end.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, have decided that there are too many stray hairs around town. Now they are stopping people on the street to give them a thorough defuzzing with sticky-rollers, which they carry at the ready. Stopping some people anyway. The others have proven ungrateful and even at times unaccountably refractory. This must stop, do you hear? Comply or bear the consequences.
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? I'm staying out of this.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
