Captain Two-For-One Used Donuts is having a special sale: Two for one for two for one. So, get double your fill of gently-used donuts, or as many as you can handle without setting off a life-ending retching spree. Sale ends sometime in the future, or whenever demand drops off enough to notice.
Captain Unidentifiable Aroma is making the rounds, again, following close behind last year's outbreak of aromatherapy. No one ever seems to know when he's coming by, or why, but maybe it has something to do with ennui, or weevils, but how about offweevils, hmmm? Hummers, too.
Captain Weekend Turd Pitching Champion called yesterday, wondering where her trophy is. "You don't get to be a turd pitching queen by letting anyone sneak in cheap moves", she said, somewhat irritably, we reckon, but then again, it is a weekday, and not everyone agrees with weekdays, with or without trophies.
Captain Wiggly Bits is founding a new gelatin dessert company, which we don't even want to know about.
Captain Wilberforce had to call in reinforcements last night. Major loss of status there. He'll have to watch out or get his credentials yanked. Again. And there's been way too much yanking going on lately.
Captain Two Wrongs Don't Make An Aardvark Bark is still trying everything wrong.
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Me? I do all of mine just fine, on time.
