1. I had a friend who grew up to be a professional Christian. Now he"s retired and unemployed. "Will sermonize for food," he says. Bye, Don. I've got other problems.
2. I guess things could be worse. I could look like you, or be your neighbor, or employ you, though your sister might make decent fish food.
3. BigotFood.com Any color you want. Possible lingering smell.
4. Future foods. Diseased foods. Colored meats. Stinky feats. All on sale this week, for you only.
5. Gross roast toast is not on the menu at Clem's House of Fancy Eats, but I never go there alone so it doesn't matter that much.
6. I found a nickel on the sidewalk, helpless, whimpering quietly. I took it home, gave it a bath, and fed it. Eventually it grew up to be a dollar and joined a gang, stole my cat, and drove off in my car. Now I'm back to counting pennies and eating leftover cans of stale cat food, all alone. There's maybe a lesson here.
