My grandma was a German-Russian sumo wrestler. Rare species. Had a short career, measuring 4'8". Lots of hair on her five tits. Tended to be scary.
I have five fingers on each hand but no arms. I need arms. (No suckers please.) Will write about you in my will.
It's hard trying to write about fives, if you never learned to count. Well, I myself did learn to count, but not past two. When I turned two I had to go work in the mines. Been at it ever since and still have some of my teeth.
If I've told you once, I've told you at least five times, and I still can't remember what it was. Maybe more beer will help.
Q: What's between four and six? A: My afternoon nap.
As for my grandfather, he was a turnip farmer, mostly. Walked with a slight limp due to the turnip he always carried in his hip pocket. Wore five pairs of glasses "All the better to see you with, Young 'un." Couldn't even find his way home by feel when he wore them. Grandma used to beat him with a flyswatter. It was her trump card, and he didn't know the difference anyway. Thought it was like the Ace of Bugs or something. Never made it big in the turnip business either.
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Me? Decided to buy a hamster. This whole leasing thing is only a racket.
