Did you know that God had a daughter? Quiet girl but smart. Didn't get herself nailed anywhere, by anyone, or to anything. Been discreetly running the show for a long time now. Doesn't talk to her headline-grabbing brother that often any more.
"I am the Lord thy God — thou shalt have no other gods before me," said Maximum G, overcompensating yet again, fearful of the competition down the street, where the other gods hung out and generally offered better deals, and weren't such complete dicks about everything.
Given a choice, I'd rather play with the cat than try out for God's team. I mean, cats. Do a little tickling, drag a string around, throw a little food into the bowl from time to time, and you're all set. God? typical high-maintenance narcissist. Alcoholic personality. Endless grief and angst. Classic sturm and drang. Never fun. Does not purr, ever. No good to nap with. Lacking in fuzzy parts.
I am not responsible for cleaning up your cookie crumbs. Once I eat your cookies, my business is done. I may fart on the way out, but only if I'm in the mood.
Glenda lenda me a hamma. A real one, not a hamma mock. I hamma nail, sometime two, then senda Glenda hamma back. Thank you Glenda-lenda.
I am so sweet that my teeth hurt when I bite myself. But it's fun. Still fun. Still so much fun. Wow.
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Me? Yet again I triumph. (Emphasis on "umph".)
