"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you embalm it for me?" I'm thinking it over myself. My love, Echinoia Eeeps, said that her family needs a corpse for their Halloween party (coming soon), and I was the obvious first choice — gaunt, emaciated, jug-eared, slow-moving, dull-witted — everything she values in a man, and just right as a party centerpiece. Plus, Uncle Verben Eeeps is an amateur undertaker, so it wouldn't cost them anything either. They need to know soon. Am already getting "that look" from a few of them.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, decided to start a chess foundation to support the family medical waste incinerator. So far she can't quite find enough chess sets to mix with the cement, and you can't make solid, decent concrete with Barbie doll heads, even though she has enough of them to replace Hoover Dam, if they only worked.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, set a mouse trap, but when she went to check, she found a tiger in it. She always did want a cat, but unfortunately the mice got to it first, and it was only claws and fuzzy tufts by then. She's pondering artillery to at least keep the mice out of her sock drawer.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, told me that I'm now in her will. I get her string collection, and, if I want it, her tapeworm, but that would be hard to swallow, at 32 feet. (And what would I feed it?)
I sent a little note last evening to my love, Echinoia Eeeps. By semaphore. She has never come to trust the written word or any electronic devices, so, when the time comes, I stop by the family compound to check out my flags and schedule a waving session, and then station myself on a nearby hilltop (interesting indeed in lightning season), and wait for my turn to arrive. This all too often works.
I do miss what one could describe as human contact with my love, Echinoia Eeeps, since the entire family is now in its seclusion burrow for mourning season. Not only that, but at such times they also release their wart hogs to roam the grounds freely and cleanse the area of vermin. Prudent heads advise against visiting during these periods, and/or tempting fate, usually referring me to the story about Great Aunt Distemper Eeeps, whose days are now definitely over, and most of whose parts have never been found.
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Me? Recently nominated for something by someone, somewhere.
