My love, Echinoia Eeeps, is training a fleet of rats to do her shoplifting for her now that her three-armed sister Whizzle is retiring. She figures that a couple hundred rats are enough to carry off the required major appliances without attracting undue notice. And she does go through quite a few appliances, seeing as how the Eeeps family compound is no longer served by any electric utility with a policy on human sacrifice and has to rely on lightning strikes whenever it's time for power laundry or vacuuming. It is endlessly entertaining to watch someone run a blender there. Well, I think so.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, is giving me instructions on how to be a better person, a person of good and refined taste. Which, this week at least, involves several sessions of repeated dunking in chocolate. Rich, dark chocolate. As part of my graduation ceremony, I am to receive a dollop of whipped cream, followed by a maraschino cherry dropped onto the very tippy-top, most pointiest part of my head. Just before the licking begins.
Was going to pay my love, Echinoia Eeeps, a surprise visit at the family compound, but remembered only just in time that this is laundry month, and an unexpected visitor would at best incite an awkward disturbance. Not to mention negotiating safe ingress past the registered wart hog herd.
Am thinking of spending Easter with my love, Echinoia Eeeps and her family, conveniently all also named Eeeps. There is G. Edward Eeeps, Cinderella Maybelle Eeeps, Mucilage Eeeps, Putron Eeeps, Weezil Eeeps, Willow Forceps Eeeps, Tuna Melody Eeeps, Forgettable Louise Eeeps, and so on. They usually like to slaughter farm animals and spray the blood on passing cars before running naked through the forest, after which they typically have a family picnic down by the lake in the park. You wouldn't believe what sorts of things they can do to a fried chicken.
Ah...I have been invited to share Easter celebrations with the Eeeps family at their secret compound back in the woods. My love, Echinoia Eeeps, has told me that it's a three-day affair, just like the original, and I happen to be exactly the right height to fit on their cross. Doesn't sound particularly strenuous and could be a decent way to get into the family's good graces, so I may give it some thought.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, is never bothered by flies, unlike some of us. One gets too close, and she'll snap it right up and swallow it before you can even blink once in fright. The flies mostly keep their distance now, and go for easier targets. Like me, for example. I'm usually covered in the little buggers. (Can't use her trick though — don't like the taste. But she does keep asking me to inch closer so she can suck them off my face. One of the secrets of our compatibility, I fear.)
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Me? Don't know why, I keep watching the sky.
