Uncle Mithras came for a visit. He ain't lookin too good no more, seen how he died sumpin like 2500 years back n all. Miracle that he can even limp around and curse any more.
Never cared much for Jesus. Seemed pretty much a sissy. Changed his name even, as if Joshua wan't good enough any more, had to go all fancy with that Greek version, then stole Mithras' life story and pretended he knew shit an stuff. Not my kind.
Zeus — now that's more my sort of god, though he still didn't wear pants. WTF with those guys?
What kind of god drowns everybody because he fucked up? Sounds like a guy I used to work for. But not long.
Jesus came to me in a dream. Wanted money — collecting for a private jet so's to go out flying around and converting some a them heathens. Like, trick-or-treat, dude. Aren't you kind of old for this? Don't you have your own wings even?
Went bowling for like the first time in half a century. Saw the "Shuffle Demon Disciples" there on Bowling for Jesus night. Buncha really old guys who all got drunk afterward and tried walking across the swimming pool at the Motel 5½. The trick is you gotta take your shoes off, guys. But what do they know? They're all dead anyway.
Woke up to find myself in Jerusalem during Roman times. Decent weather there, I'll say that, but there was some guy makin a fuss, yelling and so on, who they finally hauled away and disposed of. Anyhow, I did get a decent lunch, then was suddenly sucked back to my own century and immediately ran into some more guys waving their arms and ranting about heavenly goings-on, and grubbing for dollars, and cleaning out the temples to suit their prissy tastes. You'd imagine that they would have their act together by now. Don't know why I put up with this.
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Me? Refusing to pray for drugs.
