Wednesday, November 30, 2022

I See Two

I See Two

Harvey ain't here today, just me and Herb Chervil and a couple of lonely spiders.

I did consider going to a couple high school reunions, but I have also considered setting myself on fire from time to time, which seemed like it would have been more fun in the end. But both required a high up-front cost, given the potential rewards, so meh.

I got married again yesterday. Number 27 (I forget her name). So far it's working. I have high hopes, but am starting a new list of annoyances, just in case.

I had my eyes examined today. Still have two. One sees in UV wavelengths and the other only watches TV. Neither of them seems to like me very much. May begin interviewing for replacements soon.

Jack Sprat would eat no cats, his wife would eat no beans. Both together among themselves wore just one pair of jeans.

Christians started two world wars. What are they up to now?

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff+snorp@nullabigmail.com
Me? If snoozers can't be choosers, then what am I?

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Wednesday, November 23, 2022

Show Me Your Wall Nuts

Show Me Your Wall Nuts

Ella Umbra, the sashay lady. Throwing shade since forever.

Electricity still doesn't come in pleasant colors. And still — Still! — no one cares.

"Either length witty shade son shall he balls having material believe inquiry tended wisdom?" This was on my licensing test. Looks like I'm getting certified in the right field.

Reference barbarian, reflection refugee, reform school rabbi: The one and only Reginald Wixterhube — that's me!

Saw Dad again, running down the street screaming about something. He never has time to stop and talk anymore now that he's dead.

I did my part — I stayed home and left more room on the street for the other lunatics. They'll thank me later, if they want to, if they can find me. (I'm hiding.)

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff+snorp@nullabigmail.com
Me? Still hanging by my nuts.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Monday, November 21, 2022

John Thought John

John Thought John

I like wearing a mask. I make faces at people on the street. I talk to myself. I laugh at my own jokes. Nobody knows as long as I keep the cackling volume down. And don't wave my arms around too much. And don't double over giggling. Life in the pandemic era is a good thing.

I lost my tuna. Must have fallen out of my pants. Oh, well.

I spent most of yesterday chewing on a noodle. The outcome was in some doubt for hours, though when it comes to noodle chewing, I'm pretty well indefatigable. Also had my teeth sharpened last month, which never hurts. (Well, actually, it hurts a lot, but now I can rest.)

I used to have followers on Twitter until I figured out what Twitter was. I'm not too sure what happened after that, but I believe I'm in recovery now.

I woke up a little bit late today, but just in time as it turned out, to find an artichoke trying to make off with my pants. I need pants if only to appear human. Things go better when I wear them. I ate the artichoke. Justice has been served.

I woke up at two-thirty a.m. in the morning. Can't stand it. Give me two-thirty a.m. in the afternoon next time, and I mean it.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff+snorp@nullabigmail.com
Me? Feeling smug again. So damn fine smug.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Saturday, November 19, 2022

Doofus On The Loose

Doofus On The Loose

"Priscilla Fluckpeather" was my grandmother's maiden Name. After her marriage she went by "Robert".

All quiet here. Nothing newsworthy going on, though everyone I see is giving me an odd look. I have a bag full of them, if you need any. Useful for those days when you want a disguise.

All things considered, I guess an advanced case of rabies is a pretty good excuse not to go to work today. More fun as well.

All wood, solid good, however not quite suitable as food. 3¢ or best offer. Willing to trade for used potato chips.

Bought a 27-year-old tiger at the big auction. His name is Tom. He mostly stares and growls — you know tigers. But I need a drinking buddy, and he's more friendly than anyone else. And we both like to eat people, so we always have something to talk about.

Bought a boxcar fulla pine cones. Gonna dipem all in chocolate. The kids around here will lovem. Only cost me $48,000 so far.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff+snorp@nullabigmail.com
Me? Feeling more slippery and slithery than usual.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals

Wednesday, November 16, 2022

Reaching The Nibble Tipping Point

Reaching The Nibble Tipping Point

I almost invested in scrungebunny futures, but there is no future in scrungebunnies. Another disaster averted through timidity.

"Estofado de res" is not an infection, at least among normal people. But I think I have a case.

A rowboat went by, ferrying a pie. Raspberry, methinks. We both waved. Friends are forever, and you can eat some of them.

A shipment of pollen arrived today. I'm thinking that the bees must have ordered it. They've gotten lazy since they won the lottery.

Got my nubbins buffed. Sue went yesterday to have her nibble tips massaged. Now the cat wants some action. #LifeAmongThePolished

Found a suction cup stuck to one of Clarisse's nibble tips when I woke up. At times I can get frisky even while asleep. Wonderful me, such a fine person to know.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff+snorp@nullabigmail.com
Me? I keep trying, don't I?

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals