You know, whenever someone talks about how long a month is, they always say so many days, but leave out the nights? It's like getting an extra half month to creep around in the dark, for free, every month.
If you want to live a long life then don't die, and don't bug me either.
In later life, Frodo Baggins became treasurer of his local Hells Angels. I don't know why he didn't do it sooner.
Saw another one of my relatives publicly executed last week. I don't know what it is with those people, but I'm really glad I changed my name and got that face transplant while I was on vacation.
Speaking of face transplants, seriously, take a look in the mirror.
"Three strikes and you're out," said Mom, while teaching me how to light her cigarettes.
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Me? Parked with my motor off.
