Custom Carpet Immolation Services. "When it can't be saved, just be brave." Do the right thing. Call us, 'K? Positive results for all infestations, odors, and non-removable stains. Client must have adequate outdoor space and a valid burning permit. Simultaneous human sacrifices not allowed by city ordinance. Check with Bob's Body Burners & Unholy Communionistas for advice on disposing of relatives and difficult neighbors before making a commitment that may be expensive to get out of.
Paper-Cut Medical Services. Will do house calls, will accept dinner invitations. Have my own hammock and socks.
On-call Spot Remover. Must be flea-collared and up to date with all vaccinations. If so, send me a postcard and I might get back to you.
Artichoke inspector, will also do cantaloupe or tomatoes if asked politely. Not usually available Thursdays in June.
I wonder how life is for people who have pornographic memories.
Mom said I'm a turd, but look who laid me.
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? Teeth. I have teeth. Come by and I'll show them to you.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
