Friday, April 12, 2024

Bite Something Today

Bite Something Today

"Gorky Nibbles" — Doggy bites and favorite Russian snack, all in one package.

"Tremulous Tenderloin" — Gourmet diet grub made from Uncle Wiggly's Gelatin Flakes.

"Harvard Ham Pellets" — Eat and get smart. $29.95 per ounce. If that seems excessive, you're already halfway there. (Note: Price does not include tuition).

"Mom's Megafauna Meat Chunks" — Made from the largest beasts available locally, when in season. Practically indescribable.

"I Honestly Can't Tell That It's Not Butter, Can You?" — Edible grease cubes and lubricating lozenges. Better than Mom's most of the time.

"Beverly's Healthy Bites In A Barf Bag" — Previously unrecycled nutrients that our neighbor Beverly has found and collected locally, where possible. Pretty good on average, but expect lingering laxative effects.

 


Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? I never eat. Not after this.

 

Etc...

so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals