Hey Turd Brain

I was born an only child and hope to die that way, unless other arrangements can be secured. Of course, a lot depends on how my sister is feeling then.

My sister had a doll. Dad ran over it. #AbruptStoryCollection

I've never wanted to be a walrus, unlike my sister, but we're distinctly different people, and she floats better. Or maybe it's because she farts more.

Got a call from my sister last night. She's on Mars — says the bus service is terrible so you're stuck either walking everywhere, or you have to buy a car, and the shipping fees from earth are totally crazy. So, good place to avoid, at least for now.

My sister came over last night. "Hey, turd brain", she said, affectionately, while shooting snotballs at me with a rubber band. She does that to catch my attention, but it's getting kind of old. She's 46 this week.

My sister reports being harassed by a local crevasse. Says she can hardly get out the door anymore without it chasing her around. I thought maybe she should get a dog. The world will be a better place when more dogs disappear down giant ice cracks. Until then, a crevasse makes a dandy place to dump garbage and dispose of grass clippings and unwelcome relatives, which is one seriously good reason why I never visit her anymore. Too tempting, for all of us, in so many ways.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? I'm not really like that. I'm like other stuff. Like chocolate. I'm like chocolate a lot. Mmmmm.

Face Plant Now For Fun Fall Harvests

What sort of avocado has hair on it? One may have walked past here, earlier. We'll investigate the surveillance videos and get back to you once we have an idea. Maybe after lunch. Next year sometime.

What kind of world would it be like, you might wonder, if horses had two legs? Well, they do. They have two legs and also spares for when those first ones go flat. In case you never thought of it that way before.

Wendert Fimml was my 7th grade spatula-handling coach. Fell into the batter one day and got made into a waffle. Somewhat greasy, we all thought, but he was always like that anyway.

Well, I'm learning to compromise. If I do have to pay rent, then I guess I have to do it with money too. But it's still annoying.

Yes, it is that time of the year again. I'm beginning to sprout new buds and turn green all over.

I washed my wombat again. At least that's out of the way for another year, and one of us is actually happy about it.

 

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Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@nullabigmail.com
Me? Too busy dreaming to end my nap yet. So buzz off, 'K?