God seems a little abstract for a friend, don't ya think? Knows a whole lot of other people (exactly every one else), so how sincere is all that then?
God works in mysterious ways, because, if you're God why would you want a regular job?
Had a talk with God yesterday. Business is slow. Most people have given up their souls for a cut in their rent or a decent parking spot. Too many to burn like in the old days.
I quit being a Christian when their god didn't bring Janice Joplin her BMW #CheapFuckingShit
Had a beer with God. A plate got passed around to pay for God's. Nothing's changed there, the fucking old freeloader.
Saw God walking around again waving a stick and annoying everyone. The bad news is God has a trademark on all that, and trademarks never expire. The good news is that earplugs work wonders, and when they don't, pepper spray does.
Has a pretty decent girlfriend though. A little kinky but hey.
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Me? Gonna go in on that timeshare in hell before someone else grabs it.
