You know how they say "I don't want to get old and spend my last days full of regret?" Hey — I thought I'd try it, just to be different. Old age, disease, and death. And regret. How bad can that be?
Spent a lot of time last week thinking about becoming a god. Ultimately decided that it would be too much work so I bought a hamster. (I already had the cage.)
Have always wondered if I had the balls to impersonate Arfu Snarfu, the used lollipop salesman. He had balls, that guy.
Walked into a wall yesterday. Not my fault either. I clearly had the right-of-way. Stupid walls these days.
Painted myself red with yellow stripes to see if it would make me stupid. Sort of did. Now at least I understand walls a little better. Who says you can't learn as an adult? I want to be one some day, so this is probably a good start.
Harvey came by for a visit. I have no idea who "Harvey" is. Says I owe him money. Says if I don't pay up by tomorrow he'll break my "peecaps" or something — didn't quite catch that part. Before I could shoot a couple relevant questions at him he hopped up on the windowsill and flew away. I think I can take him if he's so sadly mistaken as to come back. Plus, I have friends. I'm totally sure my entire Barbie doll collection will back me up on this, to great effect.
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Me? Just now realized that there's been a pencil in my ear since last Thursday. Life — go figure.
