Captain Automatic can see through trees, which is why, if you see him at all, you might see him standing behind a tree. (And he knows what you're up to.)
Captain Automatic works for Major Ed Drivel, when he works at all. (He's often in the repair shop, noodling around. He likes noodles. Inspire him to remain flexible, he says. Major Ed doesn't care.)
Captain Automatic, sir, we may ask — What's your foam number? (No reply yet.)
Captain Automatic was airlifted to lunch last week. Said he had an important meeting with Mumble Bunny. All top secret and hush-hush. At its conclusion they were seen shaking paws, the two of them, so we may conclude that all is well, if we conclude anything at all. One never knows about Mumble Bunny, or about his chief advisor, Rufus Rutabaga, who is an even deeper mystery.
Captain Automatic, once seen near a wall, but only briefly, accompanied by a soft clicking sound.
Captain Automatic says not to worry. Worry only creates more worry, which soon fills one's pockets, and then what? Better to have another beer, and more cookies, he says. Beer and cookies always works. He should know. So should you. Now you do.
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Me? Trying never to give up. (Though it would feel so marvelously good.)
