A bad workman always blames his chicken. Because he's a guy. Wouldn't you? Unless the chicken is a biter. The little bastards can be nasty.
A bird in hand is worth washing up after, real well. Under the fingernails too.
Absence makes the heart grow sheep fodder. For amusement, presumably, or out of boredom.
A cat may have nine lives, but a good set of snow tires will usually get you home.
A brain is only as strong as its weakest think.
Actions speak louder than turds, which mostly stink.
A drowning man will clutch at a straw? So no wonder he's in trouble. Another guy thing.
A journey of thousand miles ends with a single step. And then a beer.
A leopard can’t change its spots — can't even learn to eat with a spork. That's why the teeth.
All good springs come to an end — no bounce is forever.
A rolling stone gathers no moss, unless it's out gathering moss, and then it's fast — really damn fast.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, unless you're that leopard — they can get away with it because teeth.
Aphorisms come from aphids, right? The sticky goo stuff? Isn't that why they taste bad?
There are two tragedies in life. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is being a monkey.
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Me? Lost. I must be somewhere around here. Can't get far in these leg irons.
