Several pharaohs spotted at the gym today. Recruiting slaves. It's about a new pyramid scheme. All the gruel you can swallow, plus a guaranteed place in the after life if you're good at your job. (No benefits or health insurance. One holiday per century. On call 24/7, etc.)
Never actually met a pharaoh myself, believing that they'd gone extinct. Funny smell in here though.
Woke up in a tomb today, or so I thought. Somehow I'd managed to crawl behind the toilet and wedge in tight. Found myself lying on a discreet pile of cat shit, so that mystery is solved. I guess I have to say overall that the afterlife may not be as glamorous as often advertised.
You know, maybe the old days were the best for anyone wanting to be a pharaoh. Have you tried getting a building permit for a pyramid lately? Did you even suspect that you might need one? The era of cracking the whip and watching everyone scurry in a hurry is long past, my friend. Gotta have that permit.
Mom never wanted me to be a pharaoh. "Go to school," she said, "learn to install solar, become a plumber, even an accountant. Forget this royalty obsession. Be responsible for once, like your sister Ed. Go talk — she can tell you. Maybe get you a shot as an embalmer's apprentice at the mormonary."
Also, very few people realize that there is a pharaoh's union. You have to join or you don't get anywhere. And the initiation — they poke you with sticks and crap, and you need to do some serious asp-kissing while hoping you don't get bit, not even once. Plus it's real dusty there. Time to do more thinking.
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Me? Anybody care lately?
