My love, Echinoia Eeeps, gifted me a beard stretcher. Wants me to try it first on my face, and then, after I've become competent in driving it, to use it in places where it counts. Also says she's got a woolly surprise for me tomorrow night, one with an appetite and mouth, but no legs. So far I'm clueless, busily engaged in plotting how to grow hair where it might be useful.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, the strong one in our relationship, recently built a bridge out of toothpicks, near Washburn, ND, the city that will be holding a special election on Monday, September 20. I think they're voting on whether blue is really a color. Maybe not. Sometimes they surprise you there. Anyway, the bridge is 1524.76 feet long, and spans the Missouri River. I'm supposed to be the test pilot, since I'm the expendable one in this relationship, and have been told to have on clean underwear. Can't wait to find out what that's about. But maybe I shouldn't ask. No, maybe not.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, is the tri-state granola-grinding champ. She never told me about this. I would never have known if I hadn't found that scrap of paper stuck to the sole of my shoe. Had her picture on it too. I think it was her. Seems to be. All except for the mustache, which she must have grown later.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, always takes first place in my heart. Or else she pounds me. (Not again, please.)
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, the Spider Woman of my dreams — likes to wrap me in string and suck on my neck. Gets to be a bit creepy the third or fourth time it happens in the same evening, but if I play nice she changes my diaper. I do enjoy that part, I do.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, said if I buy something, then pay her back, she'll loan me the money for it. I think I get it. Somewhat tricky, but I think I do get it now, because she's sort of like that. (I also have to wear a blindfold for a week, and not commit arson. Pretty strict rules there, so we'll see how that goes.)
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Me? Trying to scratch my neighbor's grass. (Need better fingernails.) (Probably should wear gloves too.)
