I picked up a pet weasel. I figure that if I really wanted to learn weasing I should learn from a master. And how to bite people too.
Anybody know where I can get some tapeworm tape remover? (Size 7.)
If you want to put some bounce back into your life, become a beachball. You get to eat as much as you want and you can wear ugly clothes, but be cautious about who handles your valve. (And how.)
I was asked to be the furbearer at my aunt's wedding. Sounds like fun. Too bad I caught fire and burned it all off last week. My fur. All of it. Now my tattoos show through, and my aunt won't talk to me. Just me and my pet rat these days, so alone, watching TV together every night.
If I had a nickel for every time I caught fire, I'd have a nickel, and you can't buy much with that any more. Sorry, Mom — I tried. At least I tried.
I don't really have a pet rat. I just work for one.
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Me? Not really — not any more.
