"Why doesn't someone fix this?" said God, followed by a few moments of silence, and then "D'Oh!"
God was originally in used car sales, but couldn't handle the pressure, so look where we are now.
God — everyone's favorite deity, especially when they need help and have run out of reputable alternatives.
Whenever I do think of God, I think of massively-wasted talent.
Did you ever at any time realize that God is responsible for the death of exactly every human who has ever lived? (All-powerful, all knowing schmuck-face.)
The need to pray is proof of the non-existence of God. (Omniscience? Hey! Where then?) Also an annoying use of time that could otherwise be spent masturbating or eating chocolate donuts.
My favorite: What religious figure was born in a stable to a poor family, made a name for himself, eventually got into trouble with the authorities by making certain unfashionable, unflattering pronouncements (at least as the rich, powerful, religiously and politically connected saw things), was put to death by crucifixion, entombed, returned to life after three days, exited his tomb, ascended into heaven on a beam of light, and lived 500 years before Jesus? Mithras. Now go change your thinking.
Did anyone ever wonder why, if God is out there, omniscient, omnipotent, all the rest, why Lucifer was able to rebel, and although, as they say, was expelled from heaven, why the one now called Satan continues to exist? Perfection it's not, not even in heaven.
So, as some say, I can either become a believer and go to heaven when I die, or have my eternal soul cast into hell, where it will remain, suffering endless torment for the whole of forever. And that said, if I have a soul, and it is eternal, that pretty well means I have an infinite amount of time to overthrow God and take charge of things, so look out then. You can't avoid me.
Did you know that Jesus never heard of heaven, because heaven was invented by early Christians as a recruiting incentive around 150 to 200 years after his time? And that hell was invented even later to prod fence-sitters who still wouldn't get with the program?
And also — there is no actual, verifiable evidence that the man named Joshua ben Joseph (who you think you know as Jesus) actually existed? None. Not the merest scrap of evidence.
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? Believing it.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
