For the upcoming Xmas fighting season, my love, Echinoia Eeeps, would like me to wrestle her pet saltwater crocodile, Ed. Best 2 out of 3. Winner gets treats. Loser pays. Sounds like fun but will have to think about it.
I got invited again to spend Xmas with the Eeeps. It happens every year and they take it seriously. This time around they're christening a new crevasse just behind the outhouse — crevasse, parking pit, garbage dump, hostage pen — all rolled into one giant fissure in the ground. I'm still mulling it over. But then again, I have nothing better to do until they release me.
I told my love, Echinoia Eeeps, that if she wants to look up to me, she can try walking around on her knees whenever the mood takes her, but she says she's really committed to stretching exercises for me with the rope and the tree out front. It's a family tradition, I hear. Meanwhile, I'm still in hiding.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, caught me eating soup — says soup is for sissies, and made me do 100 sit ups to prove that I haven't begun turning into a sissy, which wasn't all that bad, unless you have to do it from a standing position while trying to avoid the rats (Clem and Joe).
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, has a large extended family. Some of them were also extruded, but only the more irritating, unrepentant and wayward ones who were reluctant to follow tradition. Following extrusion they were immediately freeze-dried, mounted in frames, and hung in the dining room, as a poignant reminder to others, with flashing red lights along the sides as extra attention-getters.
My love, Echinoia Eeeps, has to be the best in the world. If I haven't done anything especially egregious, she pounds me only once a month or thereabouts, mostly to stay in shape and to keep her skills sharp. Then there is machine-gun practice out at the family tactical field, and bayoneting the occasional wild boar. I feel truly blessed to be on her good side most of the time, and plan to stay there to the best of my abilities. I'd bring her some flowers to show my appreciation but that might set her off again. She generally prefers a couple bags of Renaldo's Premium Blend Gold Medal Rat Chow for her friends, and I'm all too willing to get it for her and the boys, and stay safe, if possible.
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? Not sure — Haven't seen myself lately.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
