Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, will be enjoying a light lunch on the patio. They wanted you to know. So you know.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, are starting a museum of carpet samples throughout the ages, beginning with the year 1964. When synthetics finally reached maturity. Finally. And when bugs were no longer a problem. So far they have only what they inherited from their Uncle Al, of Uncle Al's Discount Carpet Emporium and Fee-Based Parking, who saw a real future in synthetics and passed along what he called the "Six Squares of Destiny", none of which were samples of actual carpeting, which they all agree only astronomically enhances their historical value somehow. By appointment only, Wednesdays and Saturdays in March if nothing else is happening that week, after the museum opens in the next decade or so, in response to public interest, which is destined to arrive.
Pat and Trite, the Obvious Sisters, are training their dog to bark on newspaper and poop on cue, having misread the owner's manual, but they've committed to seeing it through even if they have to bend the universe to meet their standards, because they are never wrong. You are.
Pat and Trite the Obvious Sisters, have a new line of offspring silencers. Muffle your child in style, only $49.95 each. They also sell Swedish hobbles to slow down over-active youngsters and keep them from running unrestrained through our once-peaceful subdivision.
Pat and Trite the Obvious Sisters, want you to know that nothing in this neighborhood escapes their vigilante gaze, and can provide reports on your compliance with standards of decency going back at least 11 years and six weeks, upon request. (After payment of a small processing fee, of course.)
Pat and Trite the Obvious Sisters, have a new line doorknob merkins in several innocent and colorful patterns to disguise that overly-suggestive bulge pointing out toward the otherwise sedate and proper street from your front door. $39.95 each.
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? Definitely lying low in this neighborhood.
Etc...
so says eff: sporadic spurts of grade eff distraction
definitions: outdoor terms
fiyh: dave's little guide to ultralight backpacking stoves
boyb: dave's little guide to backpacks
snorpy bits: nibbling away at your sanity
last seen receding: missives from a certain mobile homer
noseyjoe: purposefully poking my proboscis into technicals
