Captain Fred The Almighty has been secretly video recorded putting his pants on one leg at a time, which has disappointed very few of us. Next up, we investigate Captain Tootle and his Magic Nose Flute, and not a moment too soon for most of us here.
Captain Hairy Armpits went to the beach to enjoy the summer weather and kick sand in various faces. Pretty typical for him. (No real hobbies under his roof, it seems.)
Captain Frosty Underpants is shivering again today. Or is it shimmying? Hard to tell with this guy. I'm sitting over in the corner, eating peanuts and hoping to remain at least partly invisible. Wish me luck, or send money — whatever works for you.
Captain Really Unpleasant Body Odor is your ace in the hole — if he lives next door and you need to have reluctant guests heading for the door so you can finally go to bed and sleep it all off.
Captain Rhinoceros-Shaped Apricot Pit is retiring this year at the age of only 43, to, as he says, "Raise a few beans and spend more time playing with my hamster." We do wish him well, in perpetuity.
Captain Supersonic Snot Globules is out on a sneezing retreat this week. Please try again later, after we've had enough time to disinfect the premises, 'K?
Have anything worth adding? Then try sosayseff@gmail.com
Me? I'm really like that, at least on Thursdays.
